What kills a relationship?

It is said that one of the biggest reasons for divorce given to the divorce courts in America, is Facebook.
Apparently Facebook is a hive of past relationships meeting up again, or people meeting new friends online.

I can understand why. Online ‘friends’ can be as damaging as real life ones.. and easier to meet. In fact, you can carry them with you. On you laptop, iPad, smartphone, etc. You can be with them when you are not with your real partner – how sad is that?

I see the creeping on technology in my own home. The partner that plays game whilst you are talking to him. The reading of email whilst in bed. The reading articles online and not looking at the person that is talking to you. People don’t look you in the eyes these days -they are too busy looking at their smart phone!

I can see how long term that would change a relationship.

‘The eyes are the door to the soul’ they say. Well, these days the only things getting ‘soul time’ or getting on the Soul Train are little screens.
Gone are the days when your partner used to gaze lovingly into your eyes and have meaningful conversations. Now they gaze lovingly into the smart phones and have conversations with crime bosses or virtual reality games – stroking them lovingly or tapping them with the tips of the fingers.

We all know that mean I’m no good at multitasking. However now you have to wait for them to complete the activity on a phone, before requesting that they actually engage in conversation and/or an activity with you.

How many times have you had to have a conversation stopper mid -sentence in order for your partner to have a look at his phone to read the text message that has recently arrived.
How many times have you requested that your partner actually look at you rather than his phone/iPAQ/laptop when you are having a chat?
What is the first thing your partner dies in the morning when he wakes up? Is it picked up his smart phone and check his games/text messages/e-mail?

How can be things not disrupt a relationship? How can a person not get irritated by the fact that an inanimate object is taking all the attention away from you?
How do you request one-on-one personal time with your partner without sounding jealous and/or stupid in as much that you you are fighting with a piece of technology for his time?

Unfortunately the problem does not only kill relationships with your partner, also hampers relationships with your children. If children are too attached to technology and the interaction with technology, they don’t interact with their friends nearly as much as they should.
I am convinced that in the future this will affect society greatly. I believe that the future generations will not be able to interact with other people effectively. I also think that future generations will be unable to read body language, and as a result fights and/or disagreements will increase rather than decrease.

But for the moment I am concerned about my own personal relationships within the family. I am concerned that my children will spend less time talking to me and more time interacting with a computer program. I am definitely concerned that my partner might talk even list to me than he does currently. I have seen him with draw into the world of smart phones and technology to a greater extent over the last year. for some mean it is relaxation, and for some it is refuge. For me, it is the beginning of long-term loneliness.

This is the new war, the new Frontier, and I have my battle gear on.


image copyright of sleetherz.com

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3 Responses to “What kills a relationship?”

  1. Anon says:

    Fantastic writing

  2. Nicky Beady says:

    WONDERFUL Post.thanks for share..more wait ..

  3. Anonymous says:

    OH YES! At last somebody is basically confronting the obvious. Fantastic write-up

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